Oldenhammer in Toronto

Winston Churchill once said, "Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat."* I felt that I was doing a lot of re-ratting as I repeatedly painted all the vermin for Mice and Mystics. Last week we looked at the six mouse heroes from the game. This week, I bring you their enemies...

One of the things that I like about Mice and Mysticsis that it's got a strong sense of theme. The theme is that mice are so tiny that even household pests are deadly opponents. Cockroaches are scary, but a centipede or a spider is downright terrifying. Likewise, special ingenuity is required merely to climb up on a table or avoid drowning in a gutter. The small scale makes the stakes seem all the bigger.

Above we see the basic monster of the game: the roach. They're like kobolds or goblins in D&D but all the more disgusting because they're real.

Then comes the servants of the evil Queen Vanestra: the rats. They're not quite Jes Goodwin'sSkaven, but they are pretty satisfying sculpts in a cartoony sort of way. Chad Hoverter, the sculptor, was wise to place great emphasis on the creepiest part of the rat: their long, fleshy tails.

Here we see the Spider. It's not one of my better paintjobs... a little dim in my opinion, notwithstanding my attempt to spice it up with some orange accents.

And then my favourite miniature of the lot: the centipede. It's mindless, aggressive and hard to kill, reminding me of some of my ex-girlfriends.

Above is the whole lot of vermin together.

I hope I've piqued your interest in Mice and Mystics. It's an excellent game that offers a lot for both children and adults, as well as for solo players and larger groups. It also returns you to a sense of wonder, where a spider is a major adversary and a button found discarded under a bed may be the only thing standing between life and death.

* The occasion was when Churchill re-joined the Conservative Party after he had abandoned it to join the Liberals almost 20 years before. It's not 100% certain that Churchill actually uttered these exact words, but if it's good enough for the International Churchill Society, it's good enough for me.

I've just posted a recording of one of my favourite stories, Chu-Bu and Sheemish, read by one of my favourite actors, Vincent Price. The story is originally from Lord Dunsany's 1912 collection of short stories, The Book of Wonder. Thankfully for lovers of witty imaginative fiction, this collection widely available both online and in print. But the audio-recording by Vincent Price is a different matter. It exists only in a rare LP record released in 1982 which (to my knowledge) has never been reprinted or posted on the web.

A few months ago I managed to lay my hands on a copy, and I didn't want to keep all the fun to myself. So here it is on YouTube:

And if you want to download it, here is a link to an MP3. (Many thanks to my friend Nathan for helping me digitize the recording from the LP).

If you're wondering who Lord Dunsany was, I can do no better than quote the liner notes of the LP. They were written by the fantasy author and biographer Sprague de Camp:

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Eighteenth Baron Dunsany (1878-1958; rhymes with "rainy") was the kind of lord that many people would like to be if they had a chance. He was six feet four inches tall and sometimes called the worst-dressed man in Ireland... When not roaming the world, hunting foxes in the British Isles or wild goats in the Sahara, serving as a British Officer in the Boer and First World wars, being wounded in the Easter Rebellion in Ireland, and making an abortive entry into politics, Dunsany found time to write sixty-odd books of stories, plays, essays, verse and autobiography. How he accomplished all this with a quill pen we shall never know; he never revised or rewrote.

Dunsany (pictured below) was a great influence on H.P. Lovecraft, J.R.R. Tolkien, Ursula Le Guin and Michael Moorcock. In his essay Supernatural Horror in Literature (1927), Lovecraft wrote, "no amount of mere description can convey more than a fraction of Lord Dunsany’s pervasive charm. His prismatic cities and unheard-of rites are touched with a sureness which only mastery can engender, and we thrill with a sense of actual participation in his secret mysteries." The power of Dunsany to make the reader feel that he's participating in ancient rites is one of the things I love about Chu-Bu and Sheemish. And indeed, the performance of Vincent Price -- more an incantation than a narration -- only adds to this sense of ritual magic.

And yet at the same time, Dunsany has a light touch. For all his monumental fantasy and epic myth-making, you only have to read a few of his stories before you know that this is a man incapable of taking himself too seriously. The very first words of Chu-Bu and Sheemish encapsulate this sense of self-mockery: "It was the custom on Tuesdays in the temple of Chu-bu for the priests to enter at evening and chant, 'There is none but Chu-bu.'" (I also have a custom on Tuesdays: I eat a bowl of spaghetti.)

The other thing that I love about Dunsany's short fiction is that he is a master of endings. Nearly all his stories conclude not with a twist or surprise, but with a judo-flip -- a complete inversion of all expectations and conventions. His works are like brightly coloured snakes that bite their own tails and then keep eating until everything disappears in a puff of paradox. Without spoiling anything about the story, Chu-Bu and Sheemish nicely illustrates his talents in this regard.

Well, I hope you enjoy the story and perhaps listen to it while painting some miniatures. And if you do like it, I suspect you will want to look into some of Dunsany's other words. I particularly favour The Gods of Pegana. In any case, may Chu-Bu and his secret priesthood bless you and keep you...

Long known to be dead, the famed mercenary Ennio Mordini returned unexpectedly from the grave. He came marching at the head of a silent army of undead warriors: the Nightmare Legion.

The Nightmare Legion RRD2 was released in 1987 and was one of the best of Citadel's Regiments of Renown. No sculptor is listed as their maker but I'm confident in attributing them to Aly Morrison because they bear a strong family resemblance to his other skeletons. The boxed set contained 24 miniatures: Captain Ennio Mordini, his champion Renzo Avanti, a standard bearer, a musician, and 20 troopers.

The Nightmare Legion (also called Mordini's Doomed Legion) has haunted my dreams ever since my older brother bought them when I was a lad. Painting my own set as the centrepiece for a small undead army has been a long term ambition that I've finally realized. It only took me 33 years.

The boxed Regiments of Renown from the mid-1980's remind me of old jazz albums. When you bought a record, you weren't just getting the vinyl, but also a long essay in small font printed on the back of the album. Filled with colourful details, these essays gave listeners a richer sense of the musicians as real people. So it was with these sets... Citadel didn't just give you the lead, but also printed on the back of the all sorts of great material: a long history of the regiment, its stats for Warhammer, its battlecries and other flavourful information. For instance, these aren't just skeletons. They're Italian skeletons.

And not just Italian skeletons, but Italian skeleton mercenaries that returned from the dead after being betrayed in a Machiavellian plot by their onetime employer.

Here's a better view of Captain Ennio Mordini. Like all the minis in the box, he exhibits splendid details: tattered chainmail, rusted parade armour, and an expressive skull.

Below is the Nightmare Legion's champion, Renzo Avanti...

And here is the standard bearer...

The back of the box tells us that "lacking important things like lungs and vocal cords, the Legion has no battlecry." That's why their musician simply uses a drum...

Of course, I'm not the only one who's been enchanted by Nightmare Legion. Orlygg at Realm of Chaos 80's wrote about how the Legion has "a special place in my wargaming heart" because "it was the first box set that my father ever bought me, from Wonderworld in Bournemouth to be precise, back in 1988." You can also find a lovely set painted by Jeepster at the Stuff of Legends. And I particularly like Gaj's colourful rendition at Warhammer for Adults.

Thanks for stopping by and stay tuned for my next post featuring the soldiers of Mordini's Doomed Legion.

The backstory of Mordini's Doomed Legion has a mythic quality.

The Duke of Lumbrusco hired the mercenary captain Ennio Mordini to help him in the many wars that disquieted Tilea. But even as Mordini's victories enlarged the Duke's territory, they seemed to weaken his authority by making him dependent on the loyalty of a low-born condottiere. Finally, the Duke struck a secret bargain with the rival city-state of Organza: The Duke would lure Mordini into a fatal ambush, and, in exchange, the soldiers of Organza would ensure the land was finally rid of this dangerous freebooter. The plan worked and Mordini was slaughtered with his men in a narrow pass of the Apucini Mountains. Mordini died cursing his erstwhile employer and swearing vengeance. Five years later, a legion of skeletal warriors issued from the mountains and burned Lumbrusco to the ground. Mordini had his revenge.

This story fits nicely into Folklore Motif E232.1 as catalogued by the American scholar Stith Thompson in The Motif-Index of Folk-Literature: "Return from dead to slay own murderer." The idea that the departed can seek vengeance on the living appears everywhere in mythology, from Japanese onryō to the ghost of Hamlet's father. It's a gripping concept: justice is possible even in an unjust world, but this justice can only take the form of a ghastly and brutal retribution.

Last week, I showed off the command section of the Nightmare Legion. Let's take a closer look at the four sculpts that form the rank-and-file.

These four skeleton troopers are classic examples of Citadel's work in the mid-1980's. During this period they pumped out hundreds and hundreds of new models with a tiny studio staff. I imagine there was a lot of coffee, loud music and cigarette smoke involved. Another key to this break-neck productivity was Citadel's habit of re-using its own designs with small variations in detail: switching heads, changing weapons and repositioning limbs. And so these figures are essentially the same miniature but with different headgear and pole-arms.

Because I'm a nostalgia junky, I decided to paint these guys to look like the models on the boxed set, complete with nasty old plastic shields.

Part of my fondness for the Nightmare Legion arises from the fact that, although they're skeletons, they're not just mindless automatons. Mordini and his men have agency: without any help from a meddling necromancer they raised themselves from the dead and established an undead city state on the ruins of Lambrusco.

The grinning expressions on these skeletons clearly evoke medieval art, especially "the dance of death" or "death triumphant." For example, below is the fresco portraying the triumph of death in the Clusone Oratorio in Northern Italy (1485). Like Mordini, death has vanquished the worldly powers and set himself up as a dark monarch with his own court and Crown. This fresco would have been painted in the long wake of the second pandemic of the Black Death -- a time when death had a lot to smile about.

Talking about plagues is too topical for my brand, so I will leave you with a couple pictures of the regiment fully assembled.

Thanks for coming by! I hope you are all safe and well, my friends!

Especially attentive readers of Oldenhammer-in-Toronto may have noticed a two year hiatus where I failed to publish any new posts. I also stopped commenting on other Oldhammer blogs and my painting output dropped to fraction of what it normally is. (You can see one of the miniatures I did manage to finish in the picture above: the druid Ferndale Snart from 1985). My absence from the hobby wasn't a result of losing interest, losing a job, finding a job, finding God, moving house, or having a baby.

I had to suspend blogging because I was writing a book. I started it a long time ago but spent years just tinkering and dithering. Only since 2017 did I finally buckle down, and - as I did - I found that writing began to dominate more and more of my time. Finally, there was room for almost nothing else. The only way I was going to finish this bastard was by putting everything else aside.

Xuedou, the man who compiled
The Blue Cliff Record

The book treats an unusual topic: it's a commentary on one of the classic works of Zen Buddhism, The Blue Cliff Record. This wonderful medieval text is a collection of 100 stories about the teachers who founded the Zen school in China during the Tang dynasty.

I've studied with a Zen Master since 2004 and was ordained myself as a Zen Master (or meditation teacher) five years ago. One of the things that drew me to Zen in the first place was The Blue Cliff Record, which is, by turns, baffling, enlightening and hilarious. I wanted to write a book to help other readers enjoy The Record as much as I do.

I'm also proud to say there is an important connection between my book and our hobby: while I was still writing it, Zhu Bajiee drew six amazing illustrations for me. These pictures really inspired me during a particularly difficult period in the creative process. (You can see an excellent example of Zhu's recent work in this art for Crooked Dice Miniatures). I'm still unsure whether my publisher will include Zhu's illustrations in the printed edition of my book, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'll have more to say about my book when it gets closer to the publication date, which is tentatively set for July 2021.

In the meantime, for those of you intrigued by Zen, I'll leave you with three videos that I recently posted on Youtube for my meditation students. The videos deal with how to use mindfulness to help cope with Covid-19. If you are feeling stress, self-doubt or anxiety, I hope you will check them out.

Sharp-eyed viewers may notice the stack of Osprey military histories on the bookshelf. There's a little miniature gaming everywhere in my house, even the meditation room!

Can you break up with someone who has just died? I think of this Seinfeldian question when I contemplate Star Wars Imperial Assault.

In the beginning, I went deep for the Imperial Assault miniatures. We went for long walks and took cooking classes together. But gradually I began to feel trapped. As the game lost vitality, languished and fell into a coma, I knew my love was dying too. When Fantasy Flight Games announced there would be no new minis for the game, I hit my limit. As the hearse carted the game away, I stood in the driveway shouting, "And don't come back!"

I had just one regret. I always wanted to possess the iconic roster of six bounty hunters from The Empire Strikes Back. Imperial Assault gave us splendid renditions of Boba Fett, Dengar, IG-88 and Bossk. But it croaked before it could bequeath the final two: Zuckuss and 4-LOM.

Thankfully there are other ways to get 28mm Star Wars miniatures. For instance, there is that wretched hive of scum and villainy, the 3D printing service Shapeways. I turned to the excellent designer Mel Miniatures, whose catalog fills the gaps left by the more orthodox gaming companies. Here's the Zuckuss that I bought from them:

And here's the assassin droid 4-LOM.

Once I entered the world of off-brand Star Wars miniatures, I didn't want to stop. If it was wrong to cheat on Fantasy Flight Games, I didn't want to be right.

But 3D printing through Shapeways is expensive. Twenty-five dollars a figure turns miniature painting from a hobby to a vice. So I turned to the pre-painted Star Wars miniatures produced by Wizards of the Coast between 2004-2010. They often sell for a dollar or two, and there are hundreds of choices. Of course, this line of miniatures has some problems: the plastic is soft and doesn't capture fine detail. But the shoddy factory colouring makes the sculps seem worse than they really are. A decent paint job at home will hide a many sins.

To illustrate my point, here's my slightly converted rendition of Boushh, the bounty hunter who Leia impersonated in The Return of the Jedi:

And here's the Wookie bounty hunter Black Krrsantan, whose well known to anyone whose dabbled in the recent wealth of Star Wars comics:

Stay tuned for more off-brand Star Wars minis in future posts...

Stay safe my friends!

The moment of my death, a snow-globe will roll out of my nerveless hands and a few whispered words will fall unheeded from my lips... Irn Bonce... the Squat...

It all goes back to late 1987, when my older brother brought home White Dwarf #95. This was the apex issue of the magazine. Among so many other things, it introduced us to The Fury of Dracula, Ruglud's Armourd Orcs, the 3rd edition of Warhammer Fantasy Battle, the Deodorant Hover Tank, Prince Ulther's Imperial Dwarfs, and a flexi-disk recording of Sabbat's love-ballad Blood for the Blood God. But among all these wonders, my eye was glued to one thing only: the Mercenaries sculpted by Bob Naismith and the Perry Twins for Warhammer 40K Rogue Trader.

For the 12-year-old me, these 16 minis lay at the summit of desire. My brother and I managed to collect most of them and we played hundreds of games with them. But, of course, as we aged, we grew neglectful of our treasures and I gave or traded them away by the time I left for university.

A few years ago, driven by the demon of nostalgia, I managed to reconstruct a complete set of the RT7 Mercenaries. But it took me another few years to build up the courage to paint them. These minis occupy such a large part of my imagination, I couldn't quite bring myself to touch them.

Anyway, in the past few weeks, I finally screwed myself (??) to the sticking place. In tribute to my memories, I didn't depart from the colour schemes set out in the White Dwarf.

Here are the first four I painted, starting with "Kylla Condotti" (who originally appeared in early 1987 as "The Imperial Garrison Trooper"). I love the apprehensive look on his face. It seems to say, "Why is everyone else wearing armour?"

"Inquisitor Augustus" is the only mercenary I didn't paint this autumn. I finished his bad buck-toothed self around 2015. As far as I can tell, my painting technique hasn't changed much in that time, and he fits right in with his brothers:

"Plunderino Pete" is the victim of a typo. It's clear from later ads that his true name is "Plundering Pete." But Plunderino always seemed more romantic to me, as if Pete came from an unfortunately named Italian village:

"Irn Bonce the Squat" is my favourite in the RT7 range of Mercenaries. I love his power-armour, his unusual grenade launcher, and his visored helm. But I've never quite understood his name (is it a reference to Irn-Bru?) or why he has an "M" emblazoned on his forehead:

Thanks for stopping by - and stay tuned for more mercs!

Citadel's RT7 line of Mercenaries from 1987 represent a long-dead vision of Warhammer 40K. With their medley of attire, weaponry and species, they hearken to 40K as a messy skirmish game that prioritized narratives and role-playing. Like other early lines that died out (the Space Pirates or the Adventurers), the mercs have no place in the tidy world of race-based factions and army lists that became the norm as 40K pivoted towards competitive tournament play.

As I painted the mercenaries, I kept thinking of how they may not fit into 40K as a game, but they do match 40K as portrayed in fiction, especially the excellent novels of Dan Abnett. Even Abnett's frequent references to "bodygloves" (i.e. protective wet-suits worn under coats or heavier armour) seem to be prefigured in mercenaries like "Plunderino Pete" and "Sarge Rockhard."

And speaking of Sarge, here he is:

The next fella I painted was the somewhat unimaginatively named "Shorty". I believe this abhuman ratling is the first and last Warhammer 40K miniature to be sculpted with a smile:

Here is "No-Face Fargo." I spent 10 minutes staring into space trying to think of something witty to say about a miniature named "No-Face Fargo," but I drew a blank.

Finally, here is "Abaddon." Well, at least here is the first miniature to be called "Abaddon." Later, this name would be reallocated to Abaddon the Despoiler, "the greatest Champion of Chaos Undivided in the galaxy" and the "scourge of the Black Crusade that divided the Imperium and ushered in the eternal night." But in 1987, Abaddon was just a guy who decided to show up for garrison duty wearing a bright green envirosuit:

I hope you are all safe and healthy. Thanks for looking and I'll be back soon!

Any student of history knows that mercenaries were an indispensable part of life in the ancient world. We see them in every force from Carthage's elite infantry to William the Conqueror's Flemish allies. Speaking of the Flemish... There's a marvelous legend that when Duke Baldwin of Flanders asked what compensation he could expect for helping William's invasion of England, William handed him a blank sheet of parchment. This seems to be the first example of payment by a blank cheque.

If not always completely reliable, ancient mercenaries were at least esteemed as necessary professionals. But after the modern nation state began to emerge out of the mercenary-infested wreckage of the Thirty Years War, renting soldiers fell out of fashion. In the late 20th century, mercenaries attracted a downright dishonorable reputation because of their role in vile bush wars and civil conflicts. If anything, the corporatization of mercenary work in the modern Middle East has only sunk their standing further.

The Rogue Trader minis that I've been profiling in my last couple posts reflect the idea of mercenaries that was current in the 1980's: these are decommissioned army men looking for a buck or poorly-organized irregulars. More like the Crippled Eagles of Rhodesia than Blackwater's shiny private army in Iraq.

Well, let's have at 'em. First up is "World Burner." I have always been a little entranced by this figure. He's armed only with an auto-pistol and a gas mask -- and yet his faceless glare (and sinister name) make him seem like a terrifying opponent:

Next is "Break Out Con." I feel like if I were an escaped convict, I wouldn't advertise that fact by making it a nickname. But then, of course, I don't have a fully loaded bolter. When you've got a bolter, they call you anything you want.

Here is "Hacker Harris." He and Break Out Con are a classic example of the Citadel Design Studio's modular technique, where the same basic sculpt is reconfigured to create two or more miniatures. First and foremost, this was a way of producing more miniatures in a shorter period of time, and it helps explain the Studio's ability to crank out so many different miniatures in such a short period of time (that and the drugs). But the modular technique has other benefits. It implants a pleasing sense of pattern in Citadel's miniature ranges.

And finally, here's "Fast-Star John"...

Fast-Star John appears to be a modular variation of World Burner. Both seem to be wearing a modified (and dyed) set of traditional Imperial Guard flak armour. Hence the sense that these fellows are decommissioned veterans or perhaps deserts. He also seems to be carrying an M16. Just the thing you want for your Bush War... in space.

Thanks for stopping by!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! Reconnecting with the miniature painting community in the last few weeks has been medicine for me. So thanks for all the greetings and encouragements. I truly enjoy each comment all of you leave behind when you come to visit. I hope you are all staying safe and finding ways to make the most out of this wounded holiday season.

I want to end 2020 on a high note, so here's one of my favourite Citadel miniatures of all time: the Warhammer 40K mercenary "Old World Jack." His grim expression of dread and his lively sense of movement make a compelling contrast. Plus his armour is an early ancestor of the beaky space marine armour that discloses how influential 2000 ADwas on Citadel's visual style: those boots and knee-pads are right out of Judge Dredd:

Next is "Catachan Luke." He's named after the jungle planet Catachan, which is mentioned in the Rogue Trader rulebook as the deadliest of hostile "death worlds". But if Catachan is a mythic version of Vietnam, Luke is clearly patterned off a US infantryman, complete with an M16:

I don't know about you, but if I was going to spend my hard-earned money on a heavily armed mercenary, I would not hire a man who goes by the name "Spaced-Dout Sam." Jesus, Sam -- pull yourself together.

And finally we have "Mad Morris." Like many of the RT7 mercenaries, this model lived a double life as an Imperial Guardsman. But that, of course, is quite appropriate, since it is easy to imagine many of the more sociopathic Guardsmen deserting the service, repainting their equipment, and taking up life as a gun-for-hire:

Thanks for coming with me on this tour of the Rogue Trader mercenaries. In case you missed the earlier episodes, here are the first, second and third posts I wrote about the RT7 range of miniatures.

* * * * *

I will leave you with one final piece of great personal news. Mrs. Oldhammer-in-Toronto and I adopted a retired racing greyhound. We had been thinking of getting a pooch for many months. She wanted a medium-sized dog and I wanted a small dog, so we compromised and got an extremely large dog. Seriously - he is so big, when he lays down (which is most of time time) he looks like there's a dead deer lying around my house. "Utopia" came to us from the racetrack on Wheeling Island, West Virginia, via the extremely caring and professional foster care at Gillian's Greyhound Adoption.

I can assure my reading public that his is a very good boy.

I've had a lot of time off since Christmas but my miniature painting mojo has vanished. I think it's a combination of Covid fatigue, winter blahs and insurrection-induced anxiety. I might also be tired after finishing a series of painting projects (like the 40K mercs). But I still needed an outlet for my creative urges, so I turned to a enterprise I've been flirting with for a long time: taking some of the ancient stories about Zen Buddhism and animating them into one-minute movies using cartoon bunnies and computer-generated voices.

I guess there's a time in every man's life when he says to himself, "I want to take some of the ancient stories about Zen Buddhism and animate them into one-minute movies using cartoon bunnies and computer-generated voices." And for me, that time is now.

The source material comes from The Blue Cliff Record, which is a 1000-year-old collection of dialogues spoken by Zen Masters from Tang Dynasty China. These dialogues are often called cases or koans. A "koan" is a Japanese transliteration of the Chinese word gōngàn, which meant "a decision of a judge." In each of these stories, a Zen Master pronounces a judgment about the nature of enlightenment. But in trying to describe the highest truths of Zen, these monks often relied on non-sequiturs, one-liners and radical understatement.

In order to animate this deadpan absurdity, I needed equally deadpan characters -- hence the robotic voices and big-headed puppies. Above is my rendition of the first case from The Blue Cliff Record, where the mythic founder of Zen has an awkward conversation with the Emperor. The next one I did was the 28th Case, where two Zen Masters talk about the importance of not talking about anything important:

Finally, I illustrated one of my favourite stories, the 74th Case, where a series of Zen Masters give unhelpful advice about gratitude, happiness and generosity.

I don't know if anyone will enjoy watching the movies half as much as I enjoyed making them. But I wanted to share them in case they might be some help in dispelling your own winter blahs.

Take care, everyone!

The comic Star Wars: Landois the greatest Star Wars movie that's never been made. It's a perfect script for a tight, 90-minute adventure film: To clear an old debt, Lando assembles a crew for one last heist. It all goes according to plan until they realize they've accidentally stolen the luxury yacht of the Emperor himself.

I've always been a little cagey about the comics, cartoons and novels set in the Star Wars universe. All this peripheral literature has a way of providing too many answers.

When I was a child, the magic of Star Wars was that every re-watching left me asking new questions. My friends and I ruminated endlessly on matters great and small, from how Palpatine became Emperor to what lay under Boba Fett's mask. (Among the other sins of the prequel trilogy was that it systematically went about answering all these questions.) I think one of the reasons I love Lando so much is that it throws new light on a much-loved character, but it never stoops to be an origin story.

The small but vivid cast of characters in Lando is another reason I love the comic. And so I set out to find appropriate miniatures for each of them. The seed of the collection comes from Imperial Assault. However, Imperial Assault's coverage is patchy so I had to fill the gaps with repaints and homebrews made from the old WOTC Star Wars miniatures.

Without futher ado, I give you...

Lando Calrissian (miniature from FFG's Imperial Assault range):

Lobot (miniature from WOTC's Star Wars Imperial Entanglements range):

Lobot painted 28mm miniature - Star Wars

Chanath Cha, bounty hunter and erstwhile lover of Lobot. (Let that one sink in.)

(Her miniature started life as some generic WOTC miniature that I butchered with greenstuff. Fortunately, a fresh paint job hides many sins):

Chanath Cha painted 28mm miniature - Star Wars

Sava Korin Pers, the unscrupulous ugnaught scholar (another WOTC miniature modified with a dollop of greenstuff):

Sava Korin Pers painted 28mm miniature - Star Wars

And last but not least, we have the genetically identical alien clone warriors Pavol and Aleksin. As far as I can tell, they are the first openly queer characters in Star Wars. They are also fantastic creations: deadly brothers/lovers who look like panthers and only speak to each other. I had to homebrew their miniatures from WOTC Sith Warriors who died horrible deaths under my X-Acto Knife.

Pavol painted 28mm miniature - Star Wars

Aleksin painted 28mm miniature - Star Wars

Thanks for stopping by!

I hope you are all doing okay... or at least better than Pavol and Aleksin.

Garindan and Mos Eisley Cantina miniatures

Luke Skywalker's entry into the cantina on Mos Eisley is the defining moment of the first Star Wars movie. The scene introduced a universe without definitions. It promised us that everything to come was an open-ended journey, in which every face in every crowd has a history if only you're lucky enough to hear what it is, or imaginative enough to invent it on your own. As the writer Patrick Cavanaugh said, "Even though we knew nothing of these ancillary characters, their appearances conjured all sorts of backstories in our minds, allowing us to flesh out countless adventures within this world in just a matter of moments."

So iconic was the Cantina scene that it created its own trope. Almost every other movie in the Star Wars franchise (and many other sci-fi films) has a scene echoing Mos Eisley. Although it's tempting to dismiss this as crass imitation, I see it in terms of epic poetry. An epic is defined by certain conventions: for example, there must be a scene in which the heroes partake in a counsel of war, and there must be a long, boring recitation of the order of battle (like Homer's "catalogue of ships" or Tolkien's description of the knights entering Minas Tirith). The cantina helped define the sci-fi genre by creating a new (and deeply satisfying) convention: the bar full of aliens.

Haven't we met before?

Here are my renditions of some of the more famous faces in Chalmun's Cantina, all of which are repainted versions of plastic WOTC miniatures...

First comes Ponda Baba, the club bore whose arm gets cut off. I will always have a soft-spot for this Aqualish alien, because one of the first Kenner Star Wars figures I owned as a child was "Walrus Man."

Dr. Cornelius Evazan is Ponda Baba's companion. Evazan appeared in both A New Hope and in Rogue One after taking time off from his regular gig in the belltower of Notre Dame.

BoShek is the smuggler who introduced Obiwan to Chewbacca when the old Jedi was looking for a ride off of Tatooine. That black flight suit looks quite natty, if you ask me.

Takeel (also known as Snaggletooth) is a Snivvian mercenary and drug addict. He's another inmate of the Cantina who owes his fame less to the movie and more to his afterlife as a Kenner action figure. I hope you appreciate the disco-vibe of his leisure suit.

Snaggletooth Takeel 28mm painted miniature

Can you imagine going through life with a name like "Muftak the Talz"?

I can't.

And finally, we have my favourite: Garindan. He's the one who spotted the fugitive droids Threepio and Artoo outside the Cantina. He may be an Imperial spy and general cheese-eating tattletale, but he looks so good.

I hope no one is ratting on your droids, my friends. Be well!

The first rule of good fiction is to make the audience identify with the villain. When it comes to Star Wars, George Lucas couldn't allow us identify with the morality or outlook of the Imperials -- they are, after all, genocidal space Nazis. So he cunningly got us to sympathize with the Imperials on another level: aesthetically.

Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man. At least this girl is. And I'm especially fond of the sailors... that is to say, the uniformed members of the Imperial Navy. Sure you have your glistening Stormtroopers, and we all owe Her Maj Darth Vader a debt of gratitude for marrying cybernetics with high-camp drag (that wide belt! that cape!). But I'd trade them all away in a heartbeat for the choke-collars, double-breasted woolens and saucy kepi caps of the Imperial Officer corps.

The strong sense of fashion filters down from the officers to the Imperial Navy's rank-and-file, who look just stunning in their flared helmets and high "fuck-me" boots. So let's commence a brief tour of Death Star chic, using some re-painted Wizard of the Coast plastics:

First up are some standard issue Imperial Navy Troopers. I've always thought that such troopers are sadly under-represented in Star Wars wargaming. The elite nature of the Stormtroopers is lost if they appear willy-nilly in every battle. Note the hesitant aiming, clenched fist and chin-straps. Doesn't it all just cry out, "I'm a big boy now!"

Next comes the Death Star Troopers. These are the elite that Grand Moff Tarkin hand-picked to man his planet-destroying battle station. I wonder if he was the one who chose the butch black uniform:

Lapdogs are strictly forbidden aboard the capital ships of the Imperial Navy, so the officer class occupy themselves by coddling the MSE-6 Mouse Droids:

Here is a RA-7 Protocol Droid, also known as the Death Star Droid. I said a few weeks ago that the twins Aleksin and Pavol are the first openly gay figures in the Star Wars canon. That may be true, but protocol droids have long been recognized as LGBTQ+ icons. Writing in Mel Magazine, Jospeh Longo described C-3PO as "science fiction's first great queer character" and "a wiry, aging twink droid in love with an old queen, R2-D2."

The Death Star droid certainly fits that pattern. With his dignified mince and belly-exposing crop-top, this darling is practically begging for a night at the Rail.

And finally, I present Grand Moff Tarkin, who is absolutely rocking the angry daddy vibe. Princess Leia probably said it best: "Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash."

"...The Empire Strikes Back is heavily indebted to girls, to gays, to drag, to dance, to European traditions of camp and opera and being too much, with its excesses manifesting in spectacular effects, in the availability of male bodies for desire and consumption..."

Rebecca Harrison, "Queer Empire", LA Review of Books, May 21, 2020

Stay safe, my friends!

Warhammer 40K may be the most popular tabletop wargame in the world, but it started with a whimper not a bang -- at least in terms of the miniatures. The first murmur came in August 1986, in the Citadel Miniatures Mail Order Sheet. Amid offerings of models for Doctor Who, AD&D, and Thrudd the Barbarian, there appeared an unassuming advert for eight "Imperial Marines". I will have more to say about these lovely but undersized miniatures in a coming post. For now, we can just note that there was no mention of a new game or a new sci-fi universe, Rogue Trader or 40K. Then quiet reigned for almost a year.

In March 1987, the Citadel Miniature's Mail Order Flyer advertised 14 new miniatures under the official label Warhammer 40,000 (Rogue Trader). It was not clear who these miniatures were, what you'd use them for, or what "Rogue Trader" even meant. Things didn't get any clearer in August 1987, when White Dwarf #92 featured a mysterious full-page teaser consisting of an empty star-scape emblazoned at the top with the insignia of the new game. Finally, the Rogue Trader rulebook was published in September 1987. In the same month, White Dwarf #94 featured a long profile of the game. From that moment on, the stream of 40K miniatures has never ceased.

Let's return to the first 14 official Rogue Trader miniatures from March 1987 -- the range that would later become known as RT1.

Looking at them now, what surprises me is how half-baked they are. The names are redundant (i.e. "Imperial Heavy Trooper" versus "Imperial Heavy Infantry"). The intriguing nomenclature that would become a hallmark of 40K is entirely absent: we have an "Imperial Bodyguard" rather than an "Adeptus Custodes", or an "Imperial Psycher" rather than an "Astropath." The miniatures do highlight the great innovation of 40K, which is the shameless combination of sci-fi tropes with Tolkien-esque fantasy races. However, they highlight this new approach in a ham-handed way: the new Orc is a "Space Orc", the goblin is a "Space Goblin", and the dwarf is a "Space Dwarf". This is Space Hamsters with a vengeance.

The sculps themselves are a mixed bag. There is an awful lot of duplication for such a small range of miniatures. The "Light Trooper" and "Garrison Trooper" are siblings based closely on the same prototype; so also with the "Heavy Trooper" and "Heavy Infantry". The "Pirate" is ripped from "Cedric", a fantasy C01 Fighter sculpted by Bob Naismith in 1986.

Some of the figures are awkward to the point of ugliness. The design of the "Piscean Warrior" is so flat that it almost appears two-dimensional. Similarly, the Dark Elf Trooper looks like he is trying to squeeze between two parked cars before shooting you with his ridiculously flared weapon. (When I mounted both minis on bases, I had to spread their limbs and twist their torsos in order to add a sense of depth.)

Finally, almost all these miniatures are strangely divorced from the world of 40K that was about to unfold in the Rogue Trader rulebook: The "Piscean Warrior" is an orphan without past or future; the Squats of 40K look nothing like the "Space Dwarf"; the Eldar of 40K look nothing like the "Dark Elf Space Trooper"; and the Imperial Guard look nothing like the various troopers marching through the range. RT1 became outdated the moment the Rogue Trader rulebook appeared. Indeed, to the extent that these figures survived at all, it was only by being rebranded for other ranges. Several of them wound up in my beloved range of RT07 Mercenaries. Others snuck into the RT06 Adventurers. The rest perished in obscurity.

I love these miniatures so dearly precisely because they are awkward and unpolished. They are a fossil from a time when the world of Warhammer 40K was still forming -- a prehistoric era before names were invented, shapes settled, or identities solidified.

And so, without further ado, here are the first four miniatures of the RT1 range of Rogue Trader miniatures...

* * * * *

First we have "The Telepath". With his tonsure of neural implants and blank expression, he bears a striking resemblance to Lobot from The Empire Strikes Back. I don't love this miniature because it's so static. He would go to reappear in the RT06 Adventurers range as "Tech Priest Zon".

Telepath aka Tech-Priest Zon RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

Second comes the "Ground Combat Trooper". Loyal readers will know that I've already featured this miniature as the RT07 mercenary Abaddon. He's got a beautiful design. With the tubes, baggy envirosuit, and face-window, he's always reminded me of the Sardaukar Troopers from David Lynch's Dune (1984). Although it's hard to pin down the sculptor for some of the miniatures in the range, thanks to the work of Axion at Magpie and Old Lead, we know that Bob Naismith carved this one.

Ground Combat Trooper Abaddon RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

Sardaukar (1984)

Behold the "Piscean Warrior". There's some wonderful detail on this slimy alien, including a host of flesh-tubes and a inlaid scabbard that seems to come right out of R'lyeh. But, as noted above, this large figure is marred by a flat and linear design that perfectly encapsulates the worst of slotta-base-sculpting.

Piscean Warrior RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

And finally, here's one of my favourite Rogue Trader miniatures: "Space Dwarf", better known to his friends in the RT7 Mercenaries range as "Irn Bonce the Squat". This is a figure sculpted with great style: a simple, harmonious and balanced design. Plus a grenade launcher.

Space Dwarf Original Squat RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

Thanks for stopping by! It's nice to be sharing things with you again!

I have a bad habit when it comes to collecting miniatures. Maybe two bad habits, if you consider collecting miniatures itself to be a bad habit.

Let’s say I decide to pursue a certain range of vintage Citadel miniatures (like the Terror of the Lichemaster). Accruing such a collection takes patience, and I have none. So I grow antsy and begin to despair when, after a few months, the miniatures I need don't appear on the market. A sane person would just wait it out, because all miniatures will eventually present themselves for sale in the ripeness of time. But do I just wait? No.

Instead, I adopt a manic logic. I decide the only way to distract myself from the anxiety of completing my range is to start collecting an entirely different range. I tell myself that completing the second range will be a consolation prize if I am never able to finish the first range. In my mind, it makes sense. In reality, am doubling my trouble. Soon I will be anxious about completing two sets not one. Plus, the second set is inevitably even rarer than the original range (damn you, Osrim Chardz). It is a bad habit.

But, it’s an ill-wind that bloweth no good. My bad habit results increased fretting and the expenditure of much treasure. But it also means that I almost accidentally accrue some great sets. That’s what happened with the RT1 range consisting of the first Warhammer 40K sculps. My original purpose was to collect the RT06 range of Rogue Trader Adventurers. But when that project hit a wall (damn you, Imperial Assassin), I decided to pursue RT1 since it seemed in easy reach. It wasn't, of course (damn you, Pirate). But at last it's complete!

Last week, we looked at the first four miniatures of the range. Now I give you five more…

* * * * *

First is the “Imperial Garrison Trooper”, later renamed “Kylla Condotti” for the RT7 Mercenaries range (Nov. 1987). This is another sculp by Bob Naismith. I’ve always loved this miniature because of the simplicity of the design and the apprehension on his face. He’s a conscript, and he knows it.

Imperial Garrison Trooper Kylla Condotti RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

Second is the “Space Goblin”, later renamed “Bogbag” in the 4404 Gretchen range (1988). I want my Space Goblins nasty, cross-eyed and leering, and this fellow hits the mark. Note that this early miniature represents a kind of false start for goblindom. He's well-armoured and carries some technological geegaws on his belt. Later gretchen are generally feral fellows with primitive muskets.

Space Goblin original Gretchen RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

Next we have the “Imperial Light Trooper”, aka “No-Face Fargo” in the RT7 Mercenaries range (Nov. 1987). He’s an unambitious variant of the Garrison Trooper, and was also sculpted by Bob Naismith.

Imperial Light Trooper No-face Fargo RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

And now the glorious "Imperial Bodyguard", aka "Adeptus Custodes". Drawings of this miniature appear in some striking illustrations from the Rogue Trader rulebook. It's a sculpt marked by a fine sense of design and intriguing details. I've always been attracted to the Eldar-like dimensions of his helmet. It puts me in mind of elite regiments in history (like the Zouaves) who adopt elements of the (outlandish) dress belonging to feared or respected opponents.

Imperial Bodyguard Adeptus Custodes RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

An illustration from the
Rogue Trader rulebook (1987)

Lastly, the "Imperial Psycher", aka "Imperial Psyker" or (in the RT06 range) "Astropath Yerl". Like the Adeptus Custodes, we can see him portrayed in several iconic illustrations. This is a large sculpt that stands strangely out of proportion with its fellows. But the tallness of the miniature at least accentuates the thinness of the face and hands, which is fitting for an Astropath.

Imperial Psyker aka Astropath Yerl RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

Next week, I'll give you my versions of the final minis from this range and review some of the other painters who have tackled them.

Bonus picture: Oldenhammer in Toronto just hired a new copyeditor.

This is the third post dedicated to Citadel's first Warhammer 40K miniatures. I, of course, am not the first Oldhammer fan to take up the challenge of painting the rare miniatures in the RT1 range, and I'd like to pay some tribute to those who inspired me.

There are at least three others who have painted the full set of 14 miniatures:

In 2018, Jason Fulford at Rogue Heresy completed the range and presented his superb work. I love his imaginative colour choices and the way he paints faces. My particular favourite is his rendition of the "Ground Combat Trooper" (aka Abbadon). The blue-glass faceplate is a masterstroke.
Goblin Lee finished his set in 2015. His work nails the authentic feeling of Rogue Trader. Highlights for me include his "Dark Elf Space Trooper" and the "Imperial Bodyguard" (get a load of those pants!).
Giuseppe Chiafele's work on this range is archived at the Stuff of Legends. If you haven't seen it before, take a long look! Giuseppe is a professional and it really shows. I very much like the way he painted all the Imperial Troopers with the same colour scheme -- it's a nice change from the mercenary mishmash that I (and most other painters) employ when tackling the range. I wish I knew whether Giuseppe did these minis on commission or whether it's from his personal collection.
Finally, there's Axion's work at Magpie and Old Lead. I don't think he's done the complete range, but some of his work on individual models is not-to-be-missed. Check out his exquisite work on the "Piscean Warrior" or the "Space Goblin".

Now to my own work. Here are the last five miniatures from the RT1 range...

First is the "Pirate". As I've mentioned before, this is a reworking of "Cedric", a fantasy C01 Fighter from 1986. Both were sculpted by Bob Naismith. Personally, I'm sad there weren't more adaptations from the fantasy line to Rogue Trader - it adds a Buck Rogers-esque flavour to things. I really love this miniature for the dynamic pose and quirky details.

Space Pirate RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

And now the original Space Elf: the "Dark Elf Space Trooper". This miniature is like a piece of concept art showing the first rough ideas for the Eldar. With the small head, huge backpack, and narrow legs, he (or she?) resembles a hornet. I took the trouble of creating a triple view of this miniature because it's hard to capture the strange dimensions of the sculpt by Bob Naismith. Although it is flawed, I wish there had been other miniatures made in this line so that the ideas could have been developed more fully. In the event, responsibility for the Space Elves was taken from the veteran Naismith and given to fledgling sculptor Jes Goodwin because the management at Games Workshop thought that Space Elves wouldn't sell.

Dark Elf Space Trooper RT1 1987 Citadel First Eldar miniature

The "Imperial Heavy Trooper" would later become "Faststar John" in the RT7 range of Mercenaries. He's another sculpt by Bob Naismith. I've got a deep personal attachment to this miniature because it was one of the first painted Rogue Trader miniatures I ever owned as a kid. My older brother painted him. He gave him to me after I agreed to go out and buy him some fried chicken.

Imperial Heavy Trooper RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

The hits keep on coming! We've already had the first Space Elf, and now we get the first Space Ork miniature -- known in this range as "Space Orc with Blaster". At this early stage of the game, not only were Orks simply called Orcs, but Bolters were called Blasters. Space Orks wouldn't deviate too far from this original mold -- the mishmash of gear, the spikey helmet, the heavy boots and the metal shoulder-pads all started here. (I'm giving you a triple view so you can catch all the orky details).

Space Orc with Blaster RT1 1987 Citadel First Space Ork miniature

And finally, the last miniature in the range: the "Imperial Heavy Infantry", also known as "Space-Dout Sam" in the RT7 Mercenary range. I'm lukewarm on both this miniature and my paintjob. In another sign that this was very early days in the world of Warhammer 40K, he appears to be carrying an M16.

Imperial Heavy Infantry RT1 1987 Citadel First Rogue Trader painted miniature

If you know of anyone else who has tackled some of these miniatures, please post about it in the comments. I'd love to see some other versions. Thanks!

Attentive readers will have noticed that there was (another) gap of a year during which Oldenhammer-in-Toronto went silent. That's because I am incapable of chewing gum and walking at the same time. To be precise, I am incapable of working on two pieces of writing at the same time. And in the last year, I've had some urgent writing projects that got in the way of my beloved blog.

The good news is that these projects are (1) finished and (2) went pretty well.

My first book was published last November:The Garden of Flowers and Weeds: A New Translation and Commentary on the Blue Cliff Record. This is a book about Zen and meditation. It's based on one of the great works of medieval Buddhist literature, called "The Blue Cliff Record". It might sound dry, but the Record is actually a pretty funny book. There's a lot of absurdist humor (and even a couple fart jokes). Translating the book and adding my own commentary was one of the most delightful tasks of my life.

I have no idea how sales are going, but I suspect they're pretty modest. On the upside, the book has been received well by critics. In the past few months, The Garden of Flowers and Weeds won a Gold Nautilus Award, a top prize from Bookfest's International Book Awards, a Bronze Independent Book Publishers Award, and a Silver Benjamin Franklin Prize. Honestly, that's more praise then I could have ever wished for or expected.

If you want to support a brother, please consider buying the book!

I only have one regret. Before I had found a publisher, I asked Zhu Bajiee, the fabulous illustrator and grandee of the Oldhammer movement, if I could commission him to create some illustrations from the stories of the Blue Cliff Record.

Zhu produced a series of superb pen and ink drawings. I think they might have been his best work, and that is saying something. I had really hoped that my publisher would use the illustrations in the published text, but it was not to be. This was a crying shame. However, at least I got to share Zhu's work on my website.

As the book was going to press, another writing project got in the way of this blog. My friend Nathan is a filmmaker, and he asked me to write a full-length script for a Cthulhu-adjacent movie. Our previous collaboration was a short animated film called The Ikon (2019) that premiered at the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon. I've never written a full-length script, so it took me many months to complete. The movie is party about non-Euclidean horror and partly about the more common horror of caring for an aging parent. Stay tuned for more information about a movie tentatively called The House on Clareview.

And then, of course, there was Covid. I don't think anyone had a good pandemic, although some were much, much worse than others. I experienced what I think a lot of you did: a grinding sense of anxiety and stasis as the pandemic stretched into indefinitude. I will add that during the past two years, I sustained some grievous personal losses, although (thankfully) none of them were directly related to the virus. As the dust settles, I'm grateful that I and Mrs. Oldenhammer-in-Toronto have made it out in one piece. And we now have a beautiful puppy:

I hope you're in one piece too. Thanks for reading and letting me update you on what's been going on while the blog has been quiet.

Original Eldar first Space Elf miniatures

The first Eldar miniatures were sculpted by Jes Goodwin and released by Citadel in September 1987. There were twelve models in the range, which was labeled RTO4 Space Elves and later renumbered to RT401.They're an astounding achievement of design: The peaked helms, the organic lines and the heavy armament! In one fell swoop, they made "space elves" an instantly recognizable race while also highlighting the newness and strangeness of their values.

Illustration by Tony Hough (1987)

The genius of WH40K Rogue Trader was that it accomplished two different things at the same time. On the one hand, it shamelessly borrowed concepts, tropes, characters and conflicts from pre-existing settings. All these stolen goods gave Rogue Trader a welcoming familiarity. We recognized parts of Star Wars (armoured space troopers, a frail and psychic emperor, laser swords) or Dune (navigators, personal shields, assassins). We especially recognized the main races, because they were lifted en masse from Tolkien.

But on the other hand, Rogue Trader did a wonderful job of defamiliarizing the borrowed elements by giving them a twist. And nowhere was this twist more potent than with the Space Elves.

The Space Elves of the Rogue Trader universe were not the benevolent nature-lovers of The Lord of the Rings. Rather, they straddle good and evil. Their capacity for malice didn't fracture them into two different races (like the High Elves and the Dark Elves of Warhammer Fantasy). In this sense, the original Eldar resemble humans: both races are capable of moral ambiguity. Unlike humans, they seem to be motivated by boredom more than greed. As the Rogue Trader rulebook tells us, the Eldar trade, adventure, and fight "simply as entertainment":

For many Eldar the peaceful, idyllic monotony of the craft-worlds becomes so dull and uninspiring that they are driven to associate with other, younger and more hot-blooded races. Aside from the traders and merchants, there are some Eldar who throw themselves wholeheartedly into alien society, becoming adventurers or mercenaries... The most famous, or rather infamous, mercenaries are composed of renegades from Eldar society; the psychotic, the malcontent, murderous or evil...

Both the Rogue Trader rulebook and the Book of the Astronomicon (1988) make it clear that most of the Space Elves appearing on the gaming table are either pirates, raiders, or mercenaries. These are not the guardians of craft-worlds, but a wild bunch of killers.

Well, enough talk - let's look at the miniatures! Here are the first four from the RTO4 range of Space Elves...

First is "Aedui Starborn". A simple, classic design. An early sign that Space Elves are badasses is that he (and many of his colleagues) are armed to the teeth with two guns. The crossbow design in the shuriken catapult recalls the Eldar's origins in fantasy settings.

Aedui Starborn RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

Second we have "Belgae Strongwill". Why bring a rifle when you can carry a vehicular laser cannon?

Belgae Strongwill RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

"Gaedhil Quickshadow" is next. If you can tell me what weapon he (or she?) is carrying in the left hand, please leave a comment. I see that weapon all over the place in early Rogue Trader minis, but I've never been sure whether it is a shotgun or a lasgun.

Gaedhil Quickshadow RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

And finally, here is "Sgt. Mael Nightwing". I am particularly fond of this miniature because of the strange way that the casing for the weapon blends into his (or her?) gauntlet. It's a subtle touch that you see in a lot of these early Eldar sculpts: a melding of implements into armour.

Sgt. Mael Nightwing RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

Stay tuned for more of the original Eldar next week!

Happy Canada Day!

Back in my day, we didn't have "Aeldari" or "Asuryani" or even "Eldar". Hear that? Not even Eldar. We had SPACE ELVES. And that was good enough for us. Just plain old Space Elves. We didn't need fancypants names stolen from the glossary in the Silmarillion. That's because we had guts. We got by with nothing but Elves. In space. With shuriken catapults.

Original Jes Goodwin Eldar Space Elves 1987 painted

There were no good elves and bad elves. There were just elves. Sometimes they helped you and sometimes they raided your homeworld and incinerated your family. But we didn't bellyache about it or go around calling them "Drukhari" or nuthin'. What a bunch of lightweights you guys are. When a bee stings you on your knuckle, is it a Dark Bee? Was it seduced by Slannesh? Yeah - that's what I thought. Go make a Tic Tac video about it.

Aspect Warriors? Just keep talking, Einstein. Ask a proper Space Elf about their aspect, and before you can say "Jiminy Cricket", you'll find a pointy chainmail slipper lodged three feet up your intestinal tract.

And for Chrissakes, don't call them "Guardians". Our Space Elves didn't guard shit. They were mercenaries. Or pirates. Or bounty hunters. If you want a guardian, read the newspaper and stop bothering me.

So now you understand. In the good old days, we didn't have rap music. We had precisely one record, and it wasn't even a record. It was a 7" flexi disc of Sabbat playing Blood for the Blood God. We'd play it over and over again while talking about how AWESOME the SPACE ELVES were and how they'd certainly kick the ass of every other army in the 40K universe if only their stats were better.

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This is the second installment of my tour through the original RTO4 range of twelve Eldar, er, Space Elves. Our first miniature is "Alesia Wildfire". Like many of these Space Elves, he or she is pleasantly gender non-specific (and armed to the teeth).

Alesia Wildfire RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

Next is "Cmmr. Inghen Keentongue". It's not clear what "Cmmr." is abbreviating. Commander? Commodore? Centimeter Mister?

Cmmr. Inghen Keentongue RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

Third we have "Caetra Darkflight", who demonstrates the correct way to shoot from the hip. Knowledgeable readers informed me in the comments on last week's post that Caetra is carrying a laspistol (at least according to the Citadel Miniatures Blue Catalogue). I don't know about you, but that seems pretty big for a laspistol.

Caetra Darkflight RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

Our last miniature today is "Irbic Trueshot". This is a lovely sculpt that showcases the organic lines of the original Eldar. I mean Space Elves.

Irbic Trueshot RTO4 RT401 Citadel 1987 painted miniature

Thanks for dropping by - next week, we'll finish off the RTO4 range!

Painted Miniatures for Mice and Mystics II

Vincent Price reads Chu-Bu and Sheemish by Lord Dunsany

The Nightmare Legion I

The Nightmare Legion II

Oldenhammer: the missing years

Star Wars Bounty Hunter Miniatures

Rogue Trader Mercenaries from 1987

More Rogue Trader Era Mercenaries

Mo' Mercenaries for Warhammer 40K

Merry Mercmas!

Animated Zen Koans

Miniatures for Star Wars: Lando

Miniatures for the Mos Eisley Cantina

Death Star Chic: The Imperial Navy in 28mm

The First Rogue Trader Miniatures

The First Rogue Trader Miniatures: Part 2

The First Rogue Trader Miniatures: Part 3

Where Did Oldenhammer in Toronto Go?

The First Eldar Miniatures in WH40K Rogue Trader

The First Eldar Miniatures: Part 2 - Geriatricus speaks!